It’s hard to explain it, but I’ve felt as though there’s been a stirring in my heart lately. I’ve felt it for a while if I’m truly being honest. Maybe you’ve noticed it through things I’ve shared here on the blog, maybe I’ve seemed scattered, stressed, or not myself. I think the difficult part of putting yourself out there on your blog is that you become this open window allowing everyone who reads to see straight into your soul. The good, the bad, at times even, dare I say it, the ugly.
When I look back at the last couple of months and read back through my posts they all seem to filter through the same theme. Worry, fear, inadequacy. I’ve seen insecurities come out in me that I didn’t even think I had. I didn’t understand it then, but I’m beginning to now. See I think God had to take me through every inch of my heart so he could sharpen it to use it for his glory. He had to make me face things I had shoved deep, deep down or didn’t even realize existed so I could be ready for this next chapter he has written for me.
I think that’s why my journey has led me to a place lately where I’ve, at times, found it difficult to be transparent. Not because I don’t want to, it’s just that I feel as though God’s working in me and doing something…. I can see glimpses of it here and there, but it’s still undefinable. What I do know is that I want to be used by him.
At the beginning of this year I felt as though God was asking me to give back to him every inch of my blog. Seems silly to some, but for me it was everything. For me, my blog was my space. To say, to post, to control whatever it was that I wanted. I was using it as my soapbox. But see the truth of it is that this is not my space, it’s His space. He has given me a voice, he has given me my story and he has given me the gift of the chance to share it with all of you.
I knew when I gave it back that he had something greater in mind for my blog and for me. Over the last several months I’ve seem some amazing things happen in this little space, the biggest…. the community it has begun to form. A community that shares together, laughs together, cries together…. supports one another. A community of Influence has formed. It has nothing to do with me and everything to to with our Heavenly Father.
Recently I was reading my dear friend Jessi Connolly’s ebook, Be Quiet and Say Something, and I came across this passage that has stuck with me. It replays in my mind and I find myself going back to this chapter in the her book and re-reading it over and over:
“If you are a teacher of kindergarteners, a mother of two, a wife of one, a youth leader, a friend, a sister, if you frequent the garden shop, or there is a barista you constantly find yourself talking to at Starbucks – there are eyes and ears trained on your life and what you’ll say with it. I see two reasons the Lord has made us unique. The first would be for his infinite pleasure. He’s the ultimate artist, painting exquisite masterpiece after exquisite masterpiece, not one like the last, because it shows off His glory and magnificence. And the second, I believe, is that the more different and complex He makes us, the wider the spheres He gives us to reach the world for His glory.”
That last sentence really drives it home for me. And as I read that paragraph as I type I feel as though once again God is breathing life into this next chapter in the book He has written especially for me. I’m so excited at the idea of being used in a complex way to reach His community for His glory. If you get a chance, please read this incredible story of God’s glory and His call of influence on your life.
My prayer is that God will continue to unfold the next step in His journey for me and that He will continue to use me as a vessel to unify a community that seeks His glory. I don’t know what that will look like, but can I tell you, I’m so excited…. so excited!
Oh and if you get a second will you pray for me this weekend, I’m headed to BlogHer, a big blogging conference in New York. 😀
Heart you friends!
Ko says
Thank you for sharing your heart on here. You inspire so many of us 🙂 Have a wonderful trip!
JoyLeanne says
Thank you for being so transparent in your post. It’s so encouraging to see other people out there living a life centered in Christ and striving to give him glory in all things. Your blog has been a source of inspiration and encouragement to me just in the last few weeks since I found it. I lost a pregnancy last winter and have been struggling through so much and unsure what to share on my blog. Thanks for giving me the courage to be honest. Praying for you this weekend!!
Holly says
This is a great post! Way to go! Praying for ya!
Jill says
Alissa, praying for you this weekend, for safety, for quiet moments (a few!) for confirmation and direction… And praying for Kyle and the kids at home too! Looking forward to you sharing with us! Yay!
tricia says
I absolutely love this post. 🙂
Pamela says
I found (and favorited/bookmarked/linked up haha) your blog a bit ago, and it’s post like these that show why I did that:) I love finding great blogs like yours, with honest thoughts. I admire anyone who does good works with their faith, I believe it’s part of the reason we are here<3
Thanks for such a great read today. Have fun at the conference!!!
Joanna says
thank you so much for being so open and vulnerable. it is so encouraging.
Wendy says
So love your heart. Have been having this conversation a lot recently. What does God want to do through my writing? I know that I want everything in my life to point to Him and my blog is definitely part of that. Thank you so much for sharing this. Will be praying for you both in this journey on your blog and the one you’re taking to the conference. Blessings!
Cara Howard says
SO excited about reading this! Especially because just last night God opened my eyes to begin praying over MY blog (as His space), for Him to anoint it and bless it, to be used for His glory. He has given me such a PASSION and I’m so excited to use it for Him! Thanks sister!
Katie Booser says
My sweet friend! Thank you for posting the trueness of your heart! It really does inspire so many! I have found myself in a very similar spot recently. It wasn’t until my friend, for my birthday, gave me a journal and encouraged me to do what I love; writing. Sure I blog and love writing stories to share with others, but I also forgot that parts of me, I need to journal and share with only myself and God. It is amazing what piece it has brought to my life. I love the little encouragements from friends along the way…it really is the simple things that push me in the right direction. Thanks for being one of those people for me! Xo KB
mollie says
It seems God is making sure that more than one of us gets this! This week I’ve really felt like He’s put so many things in place in my life…all for HIS glory. And then I just came across this posting and free song: http://kenblountministries.com/in-honor-of-audrey-jobe/ Give it a listen!
Here’s to an adventure with and for God!
Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. says
Absolutely beautiful post Alissa. I love how God works in people and through them and what a beautiful space he has made your blog. The voice he has given you for this community is truly wonderful! I hope you have a great time at blogher!
Molly Garibaldi says
Such great encouragement, Alissa! We’ve recently started a Throne of Grace blog and I, too, feel the weight of responsibility. When God gives us a voice, will we use it to His glory? You are doing a great job! I always enjoy reading your blog. Blessings to you!
ashley @ little miss momma says
In so so so many ways, this post just took the words right out of my mouth. Thanks for finding the words to describe how I have been feeling too. Love ya girl!
Alesha says
This was a beautiful and challenging post! I live how you give all the glory to God! Thank you for sharing your heart.
Alesha <3
Kendra@ A Proverbs 31 Wife says
I love how you termed it as His Space, that is so right and all the glory does belong to him.
Brittany says
I feel like God is doing the same thing to me. Instead of having me focus on how much money I’m donating to international charities, or supporting big causes – he’s showing me my right here and right now, and how to use HIS gifts and spaces for HIS glory.
It’s been interesting, to say the least. I’m glad I’m not alone. 🙂
latoya @ a peaceful crib says
You too hunh? I’ve felt that same tugging. God asking me to turn over everything blogging related to Him. I changed everything. I mean everything. I was a diy blogger and all of a sudden my blog name changes and I begin to blog for His glory, and only when prompted by Him.
Strange thing is, the majority of my loyal readers didn’t go anywhere. They have stuck with me. I think it is confirmation from Him that there is someone out there listening. Someone looking for His voice. By handing blogging over to Him and considering it a ministry I am able to touch hearts.
I’m so glad I made the change.
Nice to find your blog, have a great weekend:)