How God is Shaping Me Into a Better Wife
Let me start by saying this is an area where I continually strive and fail but God is faithful and I am thankful for the ways he is molding my heart.
My husband and I got married when we were 22 and I won’t speak for him, but I thought it was going to be all lollipops and unicorns. After all, we were young, in love…what could go wrong? We started however, with one MAJOR handicap. God was no where to be found in our marriage. We both had accepted Jesus as children but neither of us were raised in Christian homes or had any idea of the importance of putting God first, where He belongs.
About 7 years into our marriage, things went very wrong. I struggled with whether or not to write specifics until I realized that this post is supposed to be about how God changed ME. Not the specifics of who did what. What I will say is that when things fell apart I was convinced I had no part in it. This was a problem my husband had to solve and I wasn’t even sure if I was willing to stick around while he solved it.
I was very confused. Ever since we had our first child we had been regularly attending church and doing what I thought were all the right things, so how could this happen? I had two very young children and saw no hope in sight.
As I was sitting putting together my plan on how to leave, God gently whispered to my heart “no”. I knew without a doubt at that moment I was not going anywhere and I would make this work. Not on my own strength or forgiveness but by leaning on the Lord. I began by memorizing Romans 8:28.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
This verse gave me hope. A hope I didn’t have before. God was faithful in showing me many things about myself that needed His attention. The first was the fact that I was not putting HIM truly in the center of anything. I was performing a checklist. I was rarely considering my husband’s feelings about much and was placing a burden on him to make me happy. I was focused on “stuff” and making him feel “less than”. Most importantly, God taught me forgiveness. He taught me to stop seeing my husband as the source of my happiness or the “problem” in our relationship. He taught me to see my husband through the eyes of Jesus. He is a sinful man in a broken world trying his best. But more important than that… he is a son of the King. A warrior for the kingdom and that is his true identity. Unless I can see him as Jesus sees him, I will never be the wife I am called to be.
Scripture tells me that this side of heaven will be hard.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Doesn’t sound much like lollipops and unicorns right? But don’t ignore the end of the verse. HE has overcome the world! No problem is bigger than Him. My husband and I work very hard to keep God in the center of our marriage and we fail often but God is gracious. He gives us a fresh start every morning. He gives ME a fresh start every morning. I took vows to spend my entire life with this man. And in that lifetime there will be trouble, but my joy is in Jesus and no one else. Are you putting your joy in someone who can never fulfill your expectation?
I love my husband and I will continue to try to love him well. I will let God show me how to encourage him, pray for him, support him, and yes… cook him dinner. I am forever grateful for God using my circumstances to sharpen me and I know He is with me in all circumstances.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:24-27
Now go give your husband a kiss!
Jami is an amazing woman of God and I’m beyond blessed to know her. If you’d like to hear more about what God’s doing in her life I urge you to follow her blog. It is honest, filled with hope and very refreshing!
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