I used to wish I had an exciting testimony, one of those ones that could save pretty much anyone who heard it. However, my testimony is pretty typical of the born in the church, raised in the church and became a Christian at an early age. Although, I have to say I’ve put more dents in my testimony than I wish I would have. Looking back now, that boring testimony wouldn’t have been so bad. I am grateful though for ALL circumstances as I know I am just where I need to be and just how God created me to be.
I could talk about a lot of things or share many different areas of my story with you. While I have been a Christian most of my life, I can’t say it’s been easy nor did I behave to well during my college years. I’ve experienced a lot of loss in my lifetime considering I’m only 28. I went through a bat of depression in the teenage years where I surprisingly came out on top. I partied hard in college and a little after college too. I dated the good guys that never turned out to be so good after all. I feel like I waiting a little longer than most to meet Mr. Right.So today, I share with you my journey to motherhood as it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t my plan. Thank you Lord for your perfect plan!
A year ago Cody & I started our journey to parenthood. I don’t know why I had so deceived myself to think it would happen quickly, but I did. I just knew we’d try once and succeed. I mean after all, the rest of the world was trying and succeeding at first glance of their spouse. After a few months and a few negative pregnancy tests I became downright depressed & frustrated about the situation. (Tests were taken because I was over a week late and in one case over 10 days late, I wasn’t just anxious)
Month after month the dreaded news of my non-pregnant body struck again. Some months it was significantly more difficult to grasp than others. Some months I started crying and couldn’t stop until my body physically couldn’t let out more tears where other months I was just happy to have a chance to try again. I felt a little bit nuts!
I was very lucky to have a friend to go through the struggle with. We seriously talked nearly every day and prayed diligently for one another. I am forever grateful for this relationship and continue to pray daily for her as they seek to have their second child.
It was getting harder and harder with each month brought 10 more pregnancy announcements and baby bumps were growing ALL around me. Not to mention all the babies were being born to the women who got pregnant around when I started trying. I continued to pray fervently and trust in the Lord’s perfect timing. After all, I know how perfect His timing is as I felt I had waited a long time to me my Mr. Right!
A month ago the dreaded time of month would soon approach me and I so hated the way I was feeling. I felt like I’d start any day now but it remained late. I had felt like this back when I was 7-10 days late so I kept putting off the pregnancy test. I couldn’t bear to see those dreaded words “NOT PREGNANT” again. So I waited and waited and waited until I was just too impatient to wait any longer…
Before I went to bed that night I begged the Lord to make me start so I didn’t have to see the words. I remember being pretty frank about how I didn’t care if I was so sick to my stomach it kept me up all night because that was better than seeing those words. I admit I woke up the next morning so nervous about what was to come.
I took the test and continued about my morning. Just as I was about to hop in the shower I took a glimpse over to see that I was indeed pregnant. I grabbed the stick just to make sure and then cracked the door open to tell my husband who was still sound asleep. “Umm…we’re…pregnant!”
I had anticipated this would go much differently, but I guess when you wait so long for something it just kind of comes out of your mouth.
I praised God that morning and kept repeating over and over again, Jehovah Jireh, My Prodiver! This moment will forever be remembered as the moment my God provided for me with a child. I am so honored today to be blessed with this child. I am so grateful to God that he would have me bear child. I am so excited about our continued journey to parenthood.
And yet again, I am reminded…His timing is perfect! His plan for my life is perfect! He is perfect! Why can’t I get this through my thick skull?? 🙂
While this is only a small part in my walk with Christ, it is what is currently in the midst of my life. I am who I am today because of moments like these. Thank you Lord for being my provider, my everything!!
I hope you enjoyed Jana’s story, what a wonderful testament to how amazing our God is!! I hope you will be as encouraged today as I am.