Dear Children of my womb,
Children I carried for 10 months and gave birth to by c-section.
Have I told you how much I love you whiney voice?
I just love how you think that whiney voice is going to get you what you want.
I apologize, I thought that surprising you with a lunch out after school would make you excited.
That waiting in a short line for one of our favorite meals would be worth it.
Forgive me for not realizing that you would have rather bickered and cried.
Had I known we would’ve just gone straight home.
I hope you understand that when we go places it’s because you are special to us
Sometimes Mommy and Daddy just want to treat you, “just because.”
I’m sorry that you felt that I owed you the meal
and that you didn’t believe me when I said for the 10th time
we’re going home if you don’t make better choices.
Didn’t think I’d actually pull you out of line, did you?
I even surprised myself a little.
I’m sorry that you chose to stop crying
as we arrived home and pulled in the driveway.
By then it was too late.
We were not turning around.
Dear woman standing in behind us,
Yes, I could feel your eyes blazing a hole into the back of my head
I could almost hear the judgement circling your head
as you watched my children continue to misbehave.
I should’ve asked you how I could’ve done it better.
Perhaps you don’t have children or you’ve forgotten
that they’re all young and pushing the boundaries at some point.
We’re a fallen world after all.
Just ask Adam and Eve.
I was set up millions of years ago to earn your judgement
and silent criticism.
Thanks for reminding me that I don’t have it all together.
Dear Gentleman in front of us.
Please, you telling me that you’re glad it’s not just your kid doesn’t make me feel better.
There’s one of me + 2 of them, the odds were not in my favor.
I think a simple smile would’ve made me feel better.
Maybe not, but none the less.
Dear Life,
thank you for the guilt that comes with knowing that their behavior is my fault.
It stems from not enough time with mommy because she works, right?
I’m sorry that I’m imperfect.
But I truly believe just like it has to be my choice to put on a happy face
My children need to do the same.
They need to learn grace, patience,
and that when mommy says stop or we’re leaving,
I mean stop, or we’re leaving.
I, however, am not going to apologize for leaving.
In that moment I taught my kids a powerful lesson.
Dear person reading this,
Some of you will agree with what I’m saying.
You’ve been there, you’ve done that.
Maybe you haven’t.
But before you leave a comment judging me for making my kids leave,
close the window.
I’ve had all the judgement I can take for now.
Dear Self,
Remember you’re going to look back on these days and realize
They’re the growing pains of life.
Your children are pushing boundaries because they need discipline.
At the end of the day, they love you and need you.
Don’t let others stares or judgement dissuade you.
Keep your eyes on Jesus + He’ll lead you as your raise them up.
Be encouraged! It will be better after nap time.
Be thankful they both still nap so you can enjoy this quiet time.
Dear Conscious,
You’re right, I’m already feeling better.
Now I think I shall reward myself with a cat nap.
Laura says
I do not have kids of my own yet but I am a teacher and I think you did the right thing. We live in a time where many children grow up thinking they are entitled to everything. As humans we sin daily and deserve punishment but God gives us wonderful surprises if we just continue in obedience and thankfulness. And I believe you demonstrated just that to your children.
Leanne says
Isn’t that the WORST? Here you are thinking your kids are going to be so excited that you’re doing something special for them that they are going to be little angels and instead you’re like “where did this whiny/fussy kid come from?”. We’ve all been there, and we’ve all left the restaurant/toy store/park because of it. Go on, take that nap!
Donna says
Big hugs to you,
Mandy Faught says
I love this! You are an awesome Mom!
Joanne Bachran says
So sorry honey! There is no doubt that raising children is the hardest profession!! You are a good mom and taking Katelyn and Brayden home spoke volumes about what you will and will not tolerate. That is called LOVE!!! Hang in there! I’m proud of you!
Kate says
I love you and I love this post! We’ve all had days like that and wonder if we are doing the right thing. But here’s the thing: you followed through and that’s a good thing. Your kids aren’t always going to like you – if they do you’re doing something wrong – but you are loving them and guiding them. You’re a great mom.
chrissy@thePEARLblog says
oh alissa. i love you. you are doing a great job with your kids. we all have days when we feel like the whining is going to cause us to blow. hang in there. remember you are not alone. we are just a text, tweet, email, call away. ready and armed with the word of God to support you and uplift you! that’s what friends are for right?
Shannie says
Applause!!! You are a great mom!!!
Whitney F says
You did GREAT! You are a great mom!! They will thank you one day for raising them the right way! Keep you head up & enjoy the cat-nap =]
Margaret R says
You did awesome. More parents should be this way. Many threaten but few follow through. Part of the problem with society today in my opinion. You are an amazing mom and you deserve a pat on the back for making a good choice.
Absolute Mommy says
I stay home with my children and they act like this. It’s their age and the idea they can push these boundaries. Stay strong. You did the right thing and taught them a valuable lesson. They will believe you next time. This is an excellent post! I love it.
Natalia says
Oh girl, you’re not alone! You did the right thing for sure! You’re an excellent momma.
Jocelyn says
You totally did the right thing! I am always impressed with mothers stick to their word. Way to go! Your children will be better for it in all aspects of life because you are willing to stick to what you say!
Nay says
Bravo! You are doing a great job….
Love you.
Theresa says
you did exactly what you should have done… now they will remember that you will follow thru with what you say (good or bad) and that provides stability for kids. congratulations!!! unlike alot of American adults, YOU are an actual PARENT!!! and should be proud of that.
Andrea Worley says
oh i needed to read this today. thanks for sharing your pain in hopes of encouraging yourself and me. 🙂 we had a melt down already this morning over what were going to wear! ha! everyday is a new challenge and opportunity to teach them a lesson and grace. be encouraged today, you’re a great mom!
Linda P says
I’ll always remember leaving a place because of my kids behavior and so will they. I just wish I made that difficult choice more often. Absolutely the hard thing to do but yay you for doing it!
HAnna says
I just want you to know I think your a great mom. It’s very admirable what you did. It’s important to teach your childen right. People ae going to judge no matter what you do. Who cares! You did the right thing and your a great mom! Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise!!! Keep up the good work! I just wrote a post yesterday on being “just” a mom! It’s the hardest job in the world!
Xoxo Hanna
Chelsea says
I feel ya mama, but don’t let that inner “mommy guilt” get you down. It’s just kids and it’s just their age and you did the RIGHT thing. I haven’t told Alea “no” and actually followed through enough and you’ve inspired me to do so. It’s all about the follow through & consistency, right? Hugs!
Mrs. Gray says
Isn’t it the hardest when they stop and apologize after it’s too late? Good job, Mama; you did the right thing!
Danielle says
I’m not a mama, but I know exactly how this goes…but from the opposite end. You see, when I was little this happened to me…ONCE. That was all it took for me to learn that my mom really wasn’t kidding. She pulled me out of soccer practice and we went home. I learned my lesson and your kids will too!
Thinking of you today Alissa!
susan says
You did great! As a mom myself I’ve learned that to be an effective parent you have to have follow through. I too would have warned and then left the restaurant. Good job!
Heather says
You did a great thing. Your children were absolutely testing their boundaries and you made it clear where they were. Well done! And try not to worry about what other people think, they never know the whole story. People are always quick to judge when it’s someone else.
Kate says
You did exactly what I would have done! Next time when you threaten to leave, I bet your kids will take notice! 🙂
So I landed here from a link on Twitter and planned to go to bed 30 minutes ago, but this post sucked me into your blog! I really have connected with the stories you’ve shared on your blog. And you now have a new follower. 🙂 I’m a new blogger so I hope to learn a lot from you!
Jodi says
Great post! I don’t have kids but I can imagine that this was a tough situation for many reasons!
Lindsay Roberts says
This is beautiful my friend. xo
Karri says
I’ve totally been there, girl. I am not known for being a softie. Some of my friends tend to call me a hard-assed parent because there are no idle threats that come from my mouth. Yep -I’ve pulled my kids, kicking and screaming from places when they were younger. And yep-they are now 9 + 11 and they still realize too late that shit, they didn’t mean it and can they change their behavior and they’re so so sorry and while it sucks, I have to follow through. They need to learn their lesson – that they can’t act that way/pull that crap. But if its any consolation, it happens less and less. They know that with one warning, the next time they do it, that’s it. So stick to your guns, mama. Its hard and it sucks donkey balls, but it works.
As for it being your fault because you work….nah. Let go of that guilt, please. All kids pull this BS.