I feel like this is the point in my fitness journey where I should be spewing sunshine and flowers. Where I should be floating on clouds of muscles being built and talking about where I’ve been and where I’m going. Except that’s not where I’m at. The last couple weeks of workout have been challenging. I’ve dreaded the thought of going. When I began working out I feel as though I went through a season of hardship trying to overcome the learning curve to just make it through the warm up without passing out in front of my friends + people I had just met. I remembered feeling overwhelmed watching some of them blow past me, shuffling like it’s their job.
Then as I began to build strength and endurance the excitement kicked in + the addiction started. Many of you witnessed it via all those 6am Instagram pics. I mean who the hell gets up by choice to work out at 6am. I did! June 19 marks 4 months of this fitness journey for me and I feel as though I’ve fallen into a rut. My scale hates me, I know I’m not supposed to look at it. I’m supposed to be grateful for the inches I’m loosing, except for the fact that some weeks they’re gone and others they reappear, then disappear again. I’m far too much a visual person to mess around with a scale that must laugh in my face every time I step on it + inches that are doing more teasing that disappearing lately.
I know exactly what’s causing this rut, yet I can’t shake it. I can’t shake going to workout every day and seeing where other’s journey’s have taken them and I can’t help but be reminded where I’m not. There was a time when I would look at my friends + be able to say, “yes, that’s what I’ll look like in 2 months, 4 months, 6 months from now.” See I’m very good at comparing my beginning to others middles. Sound familiar? Yes, I still try to keep up with those more advanced than me + count it an accomplishment if I don’t die on the process + even pride myself on being so sore that night I can’t move, because I know it means I pushed myself to do better, work harder that day.
It’s funny how even as I sit here writing this how therapeudic it can be. I feel like part of sharing this journey is being honest about the good, the bad and the ugly. And let me tell you, there are some ugly moments. Like when I have sweat dripping out of glands I never knew existed. Or the fact that I feel like the longer I work out the sweatier I get during my workouts. Gross! I really hate sweat! As I was sitting here, hemming and hawing over whether to even hit publish on a post that gives you insight into my frustrations and the fact that I may come off as ungrateful for even the distance that I’ve come in this journey in such a short time, I noticed that the picture I use at the top of my journey post is similar to the one Cristina took of me today. The only difference, well let me show you….
In this exercise we use the TRX to do bicep lifts. Once positioned, we use our biceps to pull us up. 2 sets of 20 we did today. We were challenged to go as low as we could go. The top picture is me doing bicep lifts 2 and a half months ago after my first measure day + the picture below is the one Cristina took today. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s almost as if God knew I needed the reminder that at every point in this journey there will always be some kind of beginning and some kind of middle for me. But that’s just it…. for me. Not one to be shared, not one that should come with comparison. I need to remember that this is my journey and everyones will look different. Will I ever be the 103 lbs I was in high school or the 117lbs I was when I got married, most likely not. But I can choose to be happy with where I’m at in this journey.
I can remember the friendships it has brought me. Friendships that come with sweat, tears, high fives, butt slaps, boob size comparisons, muscle flexing, nicknames and lots of laughter. I can focus on how those friendships have changed me inside and out for the better + that I have the best trainer in the world! Who works us just as hard as she loves us through each workout. I can remember that every bead of sweat that drips off my body during workout is a visual reminder of where I’ve come and more importantly, where I’m going.
I need to also remember what this journey has done for my children. My children who used to bring their iPads and sit and watch their Disney apps if they had to go to work out with me, who are now begging to come and workout with us. Katelyn even challenged herself to try the TRX a couple weeks ago and she rocked it like a boss. I’m teaching my kids the importance of working hard in all aspects of our lives. That even when it’s tough we need to suck it up and do it anyway because we know we will feel better about ourselves in the end.
So despite the last couple weeks of struggle, I’m hoping that these next few weeks before I share again I can turn my frown upside down, sort to speak. I need to not give up on myself or my journey. And I want to thank you all for walking this journey with me and loving and encouraging me along the way! I’m truly blessed!
Oh and before I forget, here’s this months measurements. I know I’m a little late sharing since I was measured on May 29.
Things I’m most excited about: The fact that I’ve lost 1/2 in off my shoulders, 1 1/4in off my hips, 1/2in off my gluts
Things I need to remember: I get measured every 4 weeks vs the normal 6 weeks and depending on what workouts I make it to during the week certain parts of my body will fluctuate, but over all I feel as though I have more of a definitive shape to my body now.
Goals: To really focus on changing some of my eating habits to help with some drop some of the lbs on top of inches.
Till next time friends!