My brain has been feeling like it’s on standstill.
Sentences aren’t forming.
Blog posts are swirling around in my brain late and night when I’m falling asleep, only to be forgotten by morning.
I’m going through a point where I feel like maybe I don’t have anything to say that’s worth reading.
And they say it’s always better to take a break when this happens, but even though there are no words, there’s the urge to share.
To make sure I don’t miss those important moments for them to look back on later.
Does that even make sense?
This summer was filled with some amazing memories, but now that school has started I’m looking back and realizing that in the course of the summer both of my babies have grown and changed so much and aren’t really “babies” anymore. Esepcially when I look at Brayden. This summer he got to attend preschool VBS, got a big boy haircut, figured out how to ride his tricycle using the petals, started wearing undies and is now insisting on a Super Hero party in November when he turns 3. WHAT?!! I’m sorry, but that’s just an overwhelming lot for this Mama to take. On top of that Katelyn’s independence is in full swing and she’s spouting off scripture and recognizing letters and attending school 3 days a week.
I guess I’m realizing that while it’s so fun and exciting to watch them grow and change and become the little people God wants them to be, it’s bittersweet because theres a huge faze of my life that’s over and I’ll never personally experience it again. I won’t be pregnant again, have the smell of newborn diapers and baby powder or have those newborn snuggles in the wee hours of the morning.
I’m sure this is the point where you’re all saying, “just have another baby.” Good point, except Kyle and I love having one boy and one girl. We feel our family is complete with 4. I think this is just one of those moments during the course of their lives where I’ll mourn what has passed as I look excitedly into the future. And that’s ok. I’m so thankful to our Heavenly Father for giving Katelyn and Brayden to us, to love, protect, teach, train and nurture.
Do you ever have those days as a mama?
mandy @ this girl's life says
I so needed to read this today…I’m definitely having one of those days. I have twin boys, and we’re pretty much 100% sure that we’re not going to have anymore children, so we only get to go through all of the “firsts” one time. The boys just started preschool and it has been a rough few weeks for me…getting used to this new phase. And thinking about kindergarten next year…oy. I’m just a ball of anxiety right now. I’m trying to pray a lot about it and just let God lead us in the right direction but it is still hard. Thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone. 🙂
Kate says
Oh sweetie, YES! YES! YES! Three of my nearest and dearest are pregnant right now and I look at them and think “oh I want a new itty bitty one to hold”. I see V looking so much like a little GIRL as she heads off to school every day and A is off to preschool two days a week and life is DIFFERENT, and CHANGED so much. I’m no longer central to their very survival which is wonderful, but a little sad too. I mourn that NEED for all that it was hard sometimes when I was going through it. But I think that’s okay. I think parenting is all about letting go in little bitty increments so when the time comes, we are ready to let them fly on their own. XOXO, girl.
Kate says
P.S. Love the teacups pictures!!
Courtney says
ooooh girl I hear you. My daughter is going to be 3 in February, but already acts so grown up. While I’m not sure if more kids are in our future I do find myself missing the sweet days of newborn snuggles.
Mackenzie says
I hear ya. My husband and I decided not to have any more kids also and it is definitely bittersweet. Some days I am okay with our decision, other days I am sad that I’ll never feel a first kick again.
Jacky {The Sweetest Petunia} says
these photos are sooo sweet; your kiddos are just adorable! enjoy every moment! 🙂
Heather says
I totally know the feeling! Actually, just yesterday I was telling my hubby I miss being pregnant and he got a look of panic in his eyes! Ha! We have a boy and a girl, and can hardly keep up with the 2 we have, so we feel like our family is complete. But I think a part of me will always miss being pregnant, and that excitement that goes along with it (before the panic!!)
Absolute Mommy says
I’m feeling the exact same way! Mac is growing way to fast and I’m trying to remember to slow down and take it all in! Great post with awesome pic!