Photo taken by Kate Mackley at Blissdom
{Top + Necklace – Anthropologie}
I feel like I’ve learned a lot about myself over the last year. It’s a crazy sensation to go from blogger/handmade shop owner to Co-Founder of my own company. I think other people must be surprised by this too because I tend to see the raised eyebrow on initial impact when I tell them that I don’t just work for Pollinate, I started the company. I’m not sure why I’m surprised to see that raised eyebrow, after all, I spend most of my time almost hiding the fact that I own a company. When I tell people it always comes out in a lower, less confident sounding tone followed by what feel like trickles of words stumbling out of my mouth and it usually starts out with yes I blog at Rags to Stitches. The more I talk the stronger my voice gets and the passion starts to creep through. Not because it wasn’t there before, it was, it was just masked by fear.
I know it must come as a shock that fear might exist in this situation. I started blogging in 2007, started my own handmade business in 2009 after teaching myself how to sew. I marketed my blog, my products, sold my services to people. In a sense I was being trained for this position all along and didn’t know it. Much like many of you. Have you ever sat down and looked at your blog, shop, friendships you’ve made online and really reflected on the awesomeness? Was it that one post, that one products, that one friend you made who introduced you to all her friends? After some reflection, it occurred to me that grooming for this position goes back even farther than I could’ve imagined. If I had never met my husband, who is a smart + successful entrepreneur I might have never have thought I could accomplish anything entrepreneurial.
But let’s not get off track and circle back to that fear I was talking about. Last weekend I sat and listened to Jon Acuff talk about fear. He told us to take a piece of paper, write down all our fears, then speak them out loud to someone we trust who can mirror back to us in an honest way a response to those fears. As I sat there I began to write down things like:
I’m afraid I can’t balance it all.
I’m afraid I’ll disappoint everyone.
I’m afraid I’ll miss important moments with my kids.
I’m afraid I’ll find myself too wrapped up in the business.
I’m afraid of failure.
I wrote these fears down and left them on the table. It was almost relieving, like I was leaving them behind. Then as I sat on the airplane headed home, I began reading an advanced copy of Jon Acuff’s new book (coming out next month) all about fear and not letting your fears keep you from being awesome + as I got deeper into the book I realized that all those fears I had written down were my excuses, not my fears. It’s almost as if I wrote down all my excuses for what my fears really were. Nothing like sitting on American Airlines, stuffed from front to back like hurdled cattle with barely any space to move, let alone breathe to have an epiphany. See I wasn’t afraid of failure….
I’m afraid of having pride in my success.
I’m afraid if I’m successful people will look and treat me different
That makes me afraid that I won’t ever know where I can truly be myself.
Why is it that I feel as though I can’t be excited or proud of my accomplishments? I actually feel like if I admit excitement about what’s happening with Pollinate and how much we’ve grown in the last year, people won’t like me, I’ll loose friends, I’ll come off as cocky when I’m not. Are you tracking with me? Why is it that you can’t be proud of your accomplishments? Why do we sit back and play down exciting things that are happening in our lives?
I’ll tell you why because we determine our success by comparing ourselves to the person sitting next to us. We don’t measure our own level of success by a tool that is blinded to what others are doing, we insist on keeping tabs on those people + then looking at ourselves. STOP DOING THAT! Seriously! That blogger you’re comparing yourself too, you know the one with 50,000 or even 200,000 page views a month, have you stopped to consider that maybe they’ve been blogging longer than you? That person who runs a business, maybe they chose to make different sacrifices or maybe they’ve just been doing it longer and you need to give yourself a break.
You are successful! You have purpose! Stop letting that little voice in your head tell you that you’re only successful if you’re in the same place as the person next to you.
Today I’m going to stop apologizing for being excited about what’s going on in my life. I’m going to stop looking at where I’m at and allowing others determine my measurement for what success really looks like. The next time someone asks me about Pollinate I’m not going to begin with hushed tones, I’ll begin with confidence. I think there are some lies you need to let go of too. Do you know what they are? Are you ready to let go?
Let’s take the leap together. It’s always easier to jump off a bridge when you’re not the only one going right?
Success is not just a 7 letter word.
Amber says
Love, love, love this to the tenth power! how true it is that we down play our success lest others think we’re bragging or judging that we have to be lacking somewhere…..but that’s there insecurities/jealousies coming out.
You SHOULD celebrate what Pollinate is doing! I think it’s amazing to have watched you grow in the last few months and see the wonderful campaigns you are taking on!
Be proud and be loud! You are doing the damn thing girlfriend!
xoxo
Jane says
Thanks so much, this is such a wonderful, encouraging post. Exactly what I needed to hear at the moment. X Jane
Inspire Me Heather says
What a wonderful story and you are truly inspiring! Your business will do very well with your positive and confident attitude, I wish you great success Alissa!
Carrie says
Thanks so much for sharing! You verbalized thoughts many of us have in clear way. New fan here! <3
Carrie
Kristyn says
Oh my goodness. This is fabulous! Thank you so much for posting this. I compare myself to other bloggers without really realizing I do it until I get sad that my blog isn’t as successful as theirs is. And that doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t at least. I should feel successful because I have a blog and people read it. That is enough. I love this! Thank you so much for posting.
Melissa says
I think is so important for everyone to read! Your accomplishments are important and we can’t let fear cloud our aspirations. All the best in your business, family, and blog ventures! 🙂
caroline @ sew caroline says
NAILED it. So proud of you. Love you + am blessed to call you a friend. Can’t wait to see where Pollinate takes you THIS year. Such a rad company.
Alissa Circle says
Love you back girlie!!!!
So excited for all the amazing opportunities you have this year.
Ko says
You are such an inspiration lady! I’d love for you to do a post that shows your daily schedule. Seriously I need to see how you are juggling/balancing this all!!!
Alissa Circle says
thank you friend, you are too sweet to me!!
trust me when i say, i wish i had a daily routine. haha
somedays it really is all juggling and balancing
Amanda says
Thank you for writing this; I needed to hear these words today! I think in today’s world it’s so easy to look at the Facebook life of someone else and think, “Wow, they have everything! They’ve accomplished so much!” because, as you said, we are comparing our lives to theirs and measuring our success against theirs. Such a great reminder of truth!
Alissa Circle says
i think that sometimes we just need a reminder that we have value and we need to not allow ourselves to play to the comparison game.
Kassie says
Good words. I know I compare myself and care too much what others think which doesn’t always allow me to be who I truly am.
Alissa Circle says
i hope you are encouraged today.
you are valuable and god is doing amazing things
xoxo
Saira-Sew What by Saira says
This was fantastic! Great topic! I found that in the past year it helped greatly to surround myself with truly positive & uplifting friends. We encourage one another & it’s really helped me to grow.
Alissa Circle says
i agree! having positive and uplifting friends is so important.
Andrea Worley says
this is great! so important to remember whatever you’re doing. thanks for the encouragement today Alissa!
Alissa Circle says
thank you friend.
so glad we can all band together and encourage one another.
Amanda {A Royal Daughter} says
This. Right here. Everyone needs to read it. I’m beyond proud of you + am excited for the future of RTS and PMG. Seriously – great things are happening – you’re a blessed lady!
Alissa Circle says
love you friend and so blessed to have you in my life!
so excited for all your successes too.
xo
Stephanie @RLPCo says
Yes, yes, yes. Right there with you. Constantly learning that the road blocks I see ahead of me are ones my brain put there itself. Can’t wait to see what the future holds for you!
Alissa Circle says
so excited for you too friend!
love seeing all your beautiful work!
xo
Brittany says
This is so encouraging. I read something the other day that said humility includes holding onto the gifts and successes God has given us. What a change of thinking. Thanks for sharing your epiphany!
Alissa Circle says
thank you so much!
i’m so glad this was encouraging
i couldn’t agree more that we need to focus on the gifts and successes God has given us.
Leanne says
I love this post, Alissa! I’ve been reading Jon Acuff’s Start and it’s forcing me to come to terms with the voices of fear. It was such a pleasure to meet you at Blissdom and I’m so excited to continue to share in the journey with you!
Kristen says
Great post Alissa! I have thought about the fear of failure vs. the fear of success. Everyone seems to automatically fear failure, but there truly is a fear of success as well. I’ve struggled with it. Like it’s just little old me…who am I to say/do this or that anyway? But when I focus on the passion and purpose God has put in me, I am confident to continue on. Love your blog…found my way over here two weeks ago for coffee date! Thanks for sharing!
Missy Cox says
I love this post! I jumped out of my own safe zone recently. Two months ago I started selling Origami Owl Lockets and I have done very well at it but have a hard time when people tell me that! Why do we find that so very hard!? I
I have been following you for over a year and and very happy how well you are doing and love your sweet spirit. Thanks so much for all the inspiration.
Sandra says
Fabulous post! And you SHOULD celebrate your success! You are the one who put in the effort to get where you are, don’t deny yourself the happiness of your accomplishments! I tell almost everyone that I meet that I make jewelry, I’m proud of the gifts God gave me, proud of my work & I get so excited when someone finds a piece they love, it brings me happiness! Enjoy all of it & Congrats! Loved reading your story 🙂
Ashleigh Baker says
Oh yes. I have so many of these same fears and they are crippling. It’s hard to be both confident AND please everyone, you know? You are doing big things, girl, and they are worth it, and life is all about figuring out the balance of it all. xo
Samantha says
Just discovered your blog, and I really needed this today! Thanks so much for sharing, thanks to your epiphany, I had an epiphany that my “fear of failure” was a fear of success. Time to go chew on this!
Ashlie says
Thank you!!! I needed to see I am not the only person who fears success! Beautifully written.
Cynthia Seeley says
Thank you for having the courage to look at yourself. It gives the rest of us confidence to look at ourselves and cast our fear baggage along the side of our road to success and move forward without the luggage that is weighing us down. I am smiling while I write this and realize I am identifying my fears and throwing the unwanted “stuff” out my window. I am picking up speed and I am going to enjoy this road to success and include anyone who wants to hop on board! Cynthia…mom of 7 and Business Owner
Stephen Bozzone (@InventionAddict) says
Alissa,
Just a FYI: I’m not into sewing, I saw Jon Acuff’s post and followed the link here.
I’ve been afraid of success for over 15 years. I remember a pastor at my church telling me “I sounds like you are afraid of success”.
I like the part where you talk about comparing your own success to someone else’s. It’s discouraging when I feel like I don’t measure up.
I need to stop making excuses and just do it. Thank you for the inspiration.
greg says
This really hit home. Sometimes I find myself not wanting to say what I am currently doing and just say I am a courier. I do not need to be ashamed for I will be successful.