I’ll be the first to admit that I spend an awful lot of time worrying about my kids. Before Katelyn was born I worried about if I would be a good mommy, if I would know the best way to take care of her, love her and show her Jesus. By the time she was 18 months old I was worrying about what the best preschool would be for her. Then I had Brayden and a whole new set of worries surfaced in my heart. Suddenly I had two children to love and I worried if I’d have enough time an attention for each. I worried if I held Brayden too much that Katelyn would feel neglected, but if I put him down every time he fell asleep, he would miss that important newborn bonding time with me.
As they grew I worried about scrapes, bruises, motor skills, social skills… I could go on and on.
But mostly I worry about their friendship.
I want so much for them to form a tight bond that will last a lifetime.
I want for them to love each other and put each other first before all their friends. To stand up for one another, protect one another…. encourage one another.
I want them to love Jesus and pray together and for one another.
As their mama I feel like I can get all too consumed with worry for these beautiful children that I’ve been gifted. I have been given the honor of taking care of them, watching over them, teaching them about Jesus. It feels like such a big task and maybe that’s why my tendency is to worry. I want to so badly for them to have all the hopes and dreams they desire; yet I worry I might stand in their way.
But see, right now all I’m doing is worrying.
With that worry come stress and that stress… anxiety.
I’m starting to learn that worry, stress and anxiety don’t do anything but hinder my relationship with my kids. Spending my time consumed with what will happen to them takes the gift that God gave me and claims it as my own, instead of as His. How can I show my kids how much Jesus loves them, watches over them, take care of them and meet all their needs if I can’t demonstrate that through my own actions. Instead I’m teaching them to trust God, but worry about whether He’ll truly take care of everything.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matt. 6:25-34
Our pastor talked about worry this morning. I had to sit there an stifle a giggle. It’s funny how God knows exactly the right way to tell you to quit doing something, right? I have a tendency to have an obsessive personality. So when it comes to worrying, once I start the train, I keep riding it. I think the part of this passage that stood out to be the most was when Jesus says, “who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Hello, DUH moment! How is all this worrying about my children going to help them for a single moment and how is it really benefitting me?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say, it’s not.
After we got home from church today I was cleaning up the kitchen and noticed a peaceful silence in our home. Normally in the hustle and bustle of Sunday morning, church, lunch, nap routine, there’s a lot of running and yelling going on. I peered around the corner to see Katelyn and Brayden snuggled on the couch together. Feet intertwined, heads snuggled together, they were enjoying time together playing on my iPad. Of course I had to grab my camera right away and capture this moment. Not because it might never happen again… I know it will, but because it was Gods way of reminding me that they are His and He’s got it all under control.
Now this mama needs to just learn to let go and trust God. Do you ever struggle with worry? How do you deal with it?
PS. I’ve been nominated as one of Circle of Mom’s top 25 Mompreneurs, would you take a moment and VOTE for me?